At that time, we looked something like this:
It is SO incredible to me to look back and see how God has brought us full-circle together. If you had asked anyone 6 years ago today if the two of us would last, they would have been clinically insane to have said yes. Neither of us were big on the concept of commitment, and for the first 2 years of our relationship we refused to even call it a relationship. Now alcohol on the other hand, THAT was something we were very committed to. I have never been shy with anyone about my past. It is shameful, and I am not proud of it, but it is what it is. And what it REALLY is, is a testament to the remarkable change that God can bring about in 2 people that are ready to live their lives for Him. At that time in Doc and I's lives, we were drinking heavily to the point of intoxication (and then some) at least 5 nights a week. Sometimes more. We were failing classes left and right, and constantly on the prowl for where our next party thrill was going to come from. We were drinking and driving regularly, smoking around 2 packs a day, working dead-end part-time jobs and living about as care-free as you could get. We both had huge dreams and big aspirations, and we knew that we would never see them come true at the rate we were going, but we just kept going anyway. We knew that we had 2 completely different goals in life, and knew that we would have to seperate one day in order to achieve them, but in our selfishness, we lived life as it was regardless. Afterall, at the rate we were going, it didn't exactly look like anyone would be meeting their goals anytime soon! We are on the fast track to no where.
After finding out we were pregnant with Jordan in 2006, we both knew that change had to come. Now, how this all came about I could seriously right a book about! And maybe one day I'll blog about that, but for today, we'll leave it at this: We looked at the way we were living and were disgusted. It's funny how "confident" you can be with your choices, and how smooth you can talk about how "everyone parties....it's totally no big deal at all", and "health wise...I mean come on, not everyone who smokes and drinks gets cancer, I'm young, just let me live my life" and then BAM. You realize what a lie it's been all along. There is absolutely no other word for it then a lie. A complete and utter lie that the devil so easily implanted into our minds and that we fell for hook, line and sinker.
Jordan was about 8 months old when I prayed for the first time in years. She had a stuffy nose, and I decided to ask God to heal it. In the middle of that prayer my body was literally engulfed in shame. I hadn't spoken to God in 4 years, and here I was asking for a favor??!!!?? As a matter of fact, I had pretty much been running as fast as I could to get away from Him! But all the while, He was running after me to bring me back. I started crying uncontrollably, and aplogizing over and over and over again for my selfishness.
When Doc came home for a visit that weekend (he was at Great Lakes Naval Station at the time, waiting to leave for BUD/S) he told me a story of something that had happened to him that week. He had something come up that shook him to his core, and scared him so badly that he hit his knees and prayed, really prayed and meant every word of it, for the first time in years. We were hundreds of miles apart, and yet God was working on us individually to prepare us for His will. It's amazing! That Sunday, we attended church together.
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Tomorrow I will finish this little story....I suppose "bring it up to current" would be a better way to put it, as God continues to work on us throughout this journey. Thanks for reading! Do you have a story like this of your own? I'd love to hear it!
Goodnight peeps!
1 comment:
wow, our God is a powerful, loving, awesome God!
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